Outside the Box: What happens if we go in?

Most of you reading this post will identify with the feeling of, not only thinking, but where and however possible living outside the box. Personally I cannot claim to have made any brave steps over the boxes threshold, and there was never any dramatic exodus over the borderline. To come to the point, some of us are simply born on its outside walls.

As life goes through its various stages, those organically displaced of us probably encounter a kind of disapproving curiosity. Its may not be uncommon or surprising to experience comments such as, “you´re so weird” or a little more discriminatory angled superlatives such as “flakey”, “oddball”, “precious” or maybe even the seriously overused noun “freak”. These random observations from inner box dwellers can after a while take their toll on the freethinking outer inhabitants.

The life of a lateral thinker is not an easy one, and if they haven´t completely grown into their lateral boots, they may even believe the unfounded hype. What happens next?

They take themselves on an inaccurately motivated mission into the box. The problem with this is that however curious they may be about the inner box culture, they will not be able to survive inside the inner box air. And this goes without saying both ways.

The crux of my message is, that it really is ok not to follow a herd. Take root in your individuality, trust that you won´t  become a lonely, out of touch old soul. On the contrary, your courage will reap you plenty of free thinking comrades. Thus, If you do try to take up residence inside of the box, you might really run the risk of  becoming a faker. The law of the universe actually needs both in- boxers and out- boxers to create a type of plus minus harmony. Steer your creativity in a way that is right for you, no compremising, and on no account should you ask permission to be on the outside.

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Wether we are parental figures now, or plan to be, it goes without saying that the safety of our children will always be paramount. When our children are small we effortlessly follow, comfort and sleep close by them,  our very presence functions as a kind of on tap surveillance nurturing system. We give our bond of motherly love unconditionally to our children. It is us that protect them, that´s natural law.

However, as time goes by we no longer share our lives with children, but small adults. These post children are eager to experience the world, just as we did, exploring the energy of the street, their absolute birthright.

So how can we continue practicing our parental protection scheme? The simple answer is: We cannot. Time to face up to the fact that the days of cotton security blankets and floppy bunny rabbits are nothing but soft, sweet memories.

But what, if anything, can we offer now? We must evolve, developing new skills to match the increasing curiosity of our once children. In other words let them live their lives, whilst we assume the role of invisible passenger in that unpredictable teenage chariot. Hence, maybe our most important task at this point is to trust the mothering we have already given. Also, if we are to ensure the safety of our daughters, we must be mothers to our sons. It is unrealistic to suggest that motherly love may enhance a more balanced and harmonious masculinity, promoting the role of protector, rather than aggressor?

Obviously there are no single guarantees for the ultimate personality results of our children, but it is clear that if we are to steer our children away from the threat of violence outside of the home, we must nurture the seed of non-violence within it.

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Looking beyond…

When we are faced with strife or challenges that don´t seem possible to solve, our automatic response is to hit life´s chessboard hard. We think tactically, trying to figure out a game plan, thus bypassing potentially valuable learning.

We seek ways to master the challenge in black and white, in the same way we always cope with adversity.  Before long we become so immersed in the game we become it. My experience is that the more we focus on our situation, the more the game is playing us, leaving the intended message out of reach. Later on in our lives our attention may again be brought to a similar strife, and the original problem is thus resurrected.

This is not rocket science, it is simply the science of looking beyond. Can we grasp an understanding of our predicament before it turns up again? How about if we had the ability to interpret our situation not literally, but essentially? I would go so far as to suggest that it is almost irrelevant what moves our opponent makes, when this game actually starts and ends with you.

I believe its possible to translate the secret texts of our troubles whilst reading them, and allow ourselves to be awakened, not to what we can see, but to that we cannot.

I suggest that by doing this we would feel less like victims or our circumstances, and more like reflected, ever evolving human beings.

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Cinderellas cracking up!

The Cinderella-syndrome: Who´s responsible?

Hello everyone, Cinderella here!

Ooops, just in the middle of finishing my skinny broccoli smoothie, trying out my new diamond encrusted Jimmy Choo´s, planting my perfect organic vegetable garden, practicing my new sadomasochistic sex moves (which I learnt btw, whilst studying on VIP beach in the Maldives) I also don´t forget to spend time with the children, I LOVE making gluten free brownies, even though I don´t eat them myself with my amazing cry-free babies. By the way, I worked off my baby fat two days after giving birth. I am sooo content, and I should add that I never get angry, even when my blood sugar´s dangerously low.  I love sharing with my honeybuns out there, and maybe you will be inspired to copy my life exactly! … Ciao!!

Ok, back in the room, somewhat dazed and confused. Firstly, I must be a bit naive. I was under the optimistic impression that the bikini fashion for summer 2012 was “healthy and strong”? It seems I was mistaken and that actually “skinny and strong” was the correct look. Judging by the the pic of the pack of holiday shots we´re privy to, the latter seems to have caught on… again.

But who decided this, and, who bought it? Additionally, how much of the responsibility lies with the receiver of the information, versus the promotor? Should the media or other messenger consider its audience before advocating perfection? Or does the audience need to learn how to filter healthy information from the waste? Do we know the difference? Are these two roles somehow just victims of the same Cinderella-syndrome?

In my eyes, they most definitely are. The informant wishes to present an image of perfection to the outside world, as does the recipient, thus lapping it up. They find each other like moths seeking the golden flame, only the flame of perfection burns unfortunately quickly out when reality sets in.

Anorexia, depression, and anxiety, as well as a combination of the three, are on the increase in our sophisticated Western civilization. These are the facts. What do they tell us?

Is the struggle for the ultimate, but ultimately unobtainable perfection, responsible for Cinderella cracking up? Syndromes caused by the quest for perfection can take years to appear, they can even hide themselves behind other interests. However, make no mistake, sooner or later the cracks will appear, unless we make sure we address our own personal health realistically, and take responsibility for it. 

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Squaring the Circle: Balancing Heaven and Earth

My studies in homeopathy often lead me towards a convergence into the lives of others. This means that I am fortunate enough to hear from time to time eye opening, courageous experiences from the lives of my friends and acquaintances. 

One of the themes that seem to be recurring, is that of gifted people taking life by the horns, ready to introduce passionate and meaningful aspects into their existence, only to get blasted back to square one by sneaky unknown fears, otherwise known as anxiety.

Anxiety, as well as being disabling, can also make the affected person feel as though it is unique to them. Well, let me enlighten you: We all have times in our lives where we are more or less prone to the condition. Overwhelming stress, trauma, low self-esteem, how our brain processes sensory information, even our gene pool leaves us at times vulnerable to spells, or more serious attacks of anxiety. The possible explanations of where the anxiety originated are endless, but in my opinion not always so important. Rather, what in all the world is it trying to tell us? Do we recognize its pattern? Is it possible there may be a voice behind the electrically charged barb wire fence giving us valuable information? 

The squaring of the circle was an ancient geometric spiritual puzzle designed to give enlightenment. As we all are aware, a very definite part of us, that which we cannot see, is our soul. I like to think of heaven being not only above us, but represented in us by our soul. The alchemists often used a circle to symbolize heaven. Earth on the hand, was symbolized by a square.

Squaring the circle can also be seen as obtaining mental and worldly balance – our feet need to be firmly planted on the earth if we are to integrate all sides of the wholeness which is us. We need to be able to look upwards, outwards, inwards and down, and connect with ourselves in all four corners.

As humans it is safe to acknowledge our destructive sides, but I believe that those are not the sides we fear. It is our light that frightens us most. As our light tries to drag us out of negative or de-energized darkness, our comfort zone, we might resist. And in resisting our light we bring about the physiological symptoms of anxiety.

The merging of our four corners can take time. Just allow them to slowly unfold like water flowers. Empowerment often brings challenges, it´s part of the game of life. If we understand more about anxiety, we may see that it´s not hanging around to threaten us, but to ensure that we safely make it out into the light.*

* Note: If we feel overwhelmed by anxiety and cannot cope alone, always take the time to seek professional help.

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Din bønn: Hvem hører deg nå?

Da jeg var liten ba jeg hver kveld. Jeg ba til Gud. HAN hørte meg. Dette vet jeg, for alt ordnet seg for meg tross alt… alltid.

Han Guden jeg ba til var han derre standardiserte gamle mannen med langt hvitt skjegg. Han lærte jeg om både i kirken og når jeg studerte samvittighetsfullt på søndagsskolen. Jeg var grei og snill for det meste, men hvis jeg plutselig fant på noe pøbel kunne jeg være litt redd for å legge meg.

Da jeg ble eldre stoppet jeg å be, det hadde liksom blitt passé. I tillegg var det å gå ned på knærne synonymt med oppfostret og tillært konformitet, for min rebelske hjerne.

Nå som jeg endelig er blitt litt lekevoksen har jeg utvidet min forståelse av det å be, og skjønt at det finnes mange måter å sette det ut i praksis. Et eksempel er meditasjon, som kanskje kan tolkes som stillhetens bønn.

Det som er sikkert, er at for meg er ikke Gud han mannen lenger, og jeg har det jeg trenger for det meste. Så hva skal jeg nå med dette antikke ritualet?

Hun lille jenta med sløyfer knyttet i museflettene ba i sin tid for å få en Chrystal Barbie, eller en campingvogn til henne og Ken, eller for å får Gud til å klistre Mor og Far sammen igjen. Noen ganger trengte hun rett og slett å unnskylde seg.

I disse dager, og det er fortsatt tidlig i forsøket, har jeg faktisk begynt å be om innsikt, eller å lære å stole på min egen. “Hey Dearest outthere, should I stay on these roads?”. Det er slik det låter inni meg. Jeg sitter bare, og den nøkterne dialogen foregår mellom meg og de universelle krefter som vil oss alle vel. Den eneste etterlevningen etter min barndoms bønn, er at jeg liker best å lukke øynene mine.

Er det noe som hører på deg?

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A human in need?

A few days ago I read an article which caused me a great deal of thought. The case, which is an unquestionably tragic story, involves a vulnerable, mentally ill young woman in danger of imminent death.

After suffering from the eating disorder known as Anorexia Nervosa and bouts of depression most of her life, she is now so weak that without intervention she is likely to starve herself to death. In an attempt to save the woman´s life, her carers approached the high courts with the intention of winning a court ruling that she be forcibly fed.

Their case was upheld and the court ruled in favor of the carers wishes. This has, perhaps understandably so, sparked outrage amongst many who claim that the deepest wish of the patient is to be left to die. They say the introduction of food is in no way consistent with the woman´s intentions, and that the government should stay out of matters concerning a human beings right to decide when and how they die.

But should one walk away from a young woman with an entrenched history of desperate sadness,  and mental health issues, not to mention a body mass index of 11.3 (20 is normal)? Is a person so acutely sick likely to know how they really feel about their future? When we skip on our basic needs, particularly our bodies source of fuel, do any of us make sound decisions?

As much as I acknowledge our constitutional right to reject invasive or brutal treatment, I cannot help but see, that underneath this woman´s total rejection of nourishment,  there may be someone crying out for help. Could it ever be ethically justified to allow a young person to die, whom if instead were to be placed in the hands of competent professionals could end up choosing life instead?

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